I Keep My Relationships Private – Lilian Afegbai

Nollywood actress Lilian Afegbai has opened up about her deeply guarded approach to love and personal matters, revealing that she deliberately keeps her relationships away from public scrutiny and even from her closest friends.

Speaking during a recent conversation on Ify’s Kitchen, the Edo-born actress explained that privacy is not a strategy she adopted because of fame; it is simply who she has always been. According to her, sharing intimate details about her romantic life does not come naturally, regardless of how close she may appear to others.

Afegbai made it clear that she does not feel pressured to explain or defend that choice. For her, silence about her private life is a boundary she is unwilling to compromise. She admitted that some people interpret her discretion as secrecy taken too far, but she insists it is necessary for her peace of mind.

The actress said she does not discuss her relationship with friends, no matter how long they have known each other. While she values companionship and enjoys being around people, she draws a firm line when it comes to emotional matters tied to romance.

Her stance, she revealed, is rooted in long-standing trust issues that trace back to her childhood. Though she did not go into full details, Afegbai acknowledged that early life experiences shaped how she connects with people today. Those experiences, she hinted, left her cautious and protective of her inner world.

Rather than ignore the impact of that past, the film star disclosed that she is actively working on herself. She shared that she is currently in therapy, describing the process as part of her journey toward healing and growth.

Calling herself a “work in progress,” Afegbai said she recognises that her guarded personality can sometimes be misunderstood. However, she believes self-awareness is the first step toward change, and she is committed to confronting the parts of herself that need attention.

Despite her friendly and outgoing image, she clarified that being social does not automatically mean she forms deep emotional bonds with everyone around her. According to her, many people assume that because she has a wide circle of friends, she must be equally close to all of them. That assumption, she said, is far from reality.

Afegbai explained that she carefully selects the few people she allows into her personal space. Trust, for her, is earned slowly and deliberately. Even then, certain aspects of her life remain exclusively hers.

The actress emphasised that she does not believe friendship requires complete access to one’s private affairs. In her view, boundaries are healthy and necessary, especially in an industry where personal stories can quickly become public conversations.

Living in the spotlight has only reinforced her decision to stay guarded. She understands how easily narratives can be twisted or exaggerated once they leave her control. By choosing silence, she retains ownership of her story.

Afegbai also addressed the perception that secrecy suggests dishonesty. She dismissed that notion, insisting that privacy and untrustworthiness are not the same thing. To her, withholding personal details is about self-protection, not deception.

She admitted that her approach may not work for everyone. Some people thrive on openness and constant sharing. For her, however, emotional safety comes first. She would rather be misunderstood than feel exposed.

The actress noted that therapy has helped her unpack some of the emotional walls she built over time. While she still values privacy, she is learning healthier ways to process fear and vulnerability.

Afegbai’s candid admission offers a rare glimpse into the emotional realities many public figures face behind the scenes. In an era where oversharing has become common, choosing silence can appear unusual. Yet for her, it is a deliberate act of self-care.

She maintained that her private life remains exactly that private. No matter the pressure from fans, media, or even friends, she does not feel obligated to provide updates about who she is dating or what is happening in her romantic life.

For Afegbai, relationships are sacred and deserve protection from unnecessary attention. She believes that once too many opinions enter a space meant for two people, complications follow.

While she continues to shine on screen and engage warmly with supporters, she keeps her emotional world tightly sealed. It is a balance she has learned to manage over time.

Ultimately, Afegbai’s message is simple: not everything needs to be shared to be genuine. Behind the laughter, glamour and vibrant social presence is a woman still navigating trust, healing and growth.

And as she continues that journey, one boundary remains firm her relationships will stay out of the public eye, and even out of friendly discussions, for as long as she chooses.